We had Christmas at my parents house this year. It was pretty amazing. It was fun to see Isla's face when she opened some of her gifts! These are just the pics from my parents camera, I will post more from my phone when I get home :)
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
He sat me down and listened and sympathized and offered really good advice and insights. We ended up blaming my mom for most of my problems (haha) and talked about how I'm not the only one who gets discouraged. He told me that he was sure Heavenly Father was pleased with my efforts, and that I do need to recognize my weaknesses, but take them with patience and optimism. I was taking steps back, not forward. Another thing we recognized was how I do a lot of things out of fear. Fear should never be a motivating factor (using the Lord as an example again) it should be out of LOVE.
I really felt better, and as I was doing my 14 day walk with Christ packet I answered the question about trusting the Lord and calling upon him with this:
"I feel like I trust him when things are really difficult and I don't understand why at the time, but on day to day things like I posted about yesterday...no. I don't call upon him for the mundane because for some reason I think I should be able to figure it all out on my own...BUT, I am working on it. I will keep a prayer constantly in my heart, and trust his guidance especially with the day to day. I feel better about the direction I am going and I am optimistic about the future."
P.S. My mom called and said it was probably all her fault. Ha! Turns out the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree. I assured her my faults were my own, and she is amazing!
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
So I know the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, but what's the next step? And the step after that? I can't stand a dirty house. I will stay up cleaning, and I literally cannot relax until my list of a million things is done...and my house is clean. Then, I get really stressed out and I crash, and I'm mean. The only thing worse than being too hard on yourself is being too hard on others, (especially those you love) and to tell you the truth I'm guilty! I took this picture, because I wanted to embrace the fact that I didn't clean the living room before Isla took her nap. I sat down with a book, and tried to read but couldn't, and got up and cleaned and took the burners off the stove and scrubbed the oven too. WHAT is wrong with me???
I'm sorry but next year everyone is getting only marshmellow nut clusters, or I'm just buying boxes of chocolates! Ha!
Anyway, my soul really has been heavy. I want to simplify, but I feel like I'm fighting my own self to find balance. I guess it's a process...and yes, I'm very much aware of it so that's something, right?